Heart Skipped a Beat
by validray
Summary: Remus Lupin spends his life with amazing friends and support from the Headmaster to complete his education matter what his affliction, but a friend wants him to want something more than school and friends.
1. What Meets The Eye

**Full Summary: Remus Lupin spends his life with amazing friends and support from the Headmaster to complete his education no matter what his affliction, but a friend wants him to want something more than school and friends.**

**Warnings: lots of teenage angst, mentioned drug and alcohol use, mentioned and implied sexual intercourse/relations throughout the story.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except some CD's and lots of earrings.**

Heart Skipped a Beat

Chapter 1:

_You make me crazy, you make me wild _

_Just like a baby, spin me 'round like a child_

-American by Lana Del Rey

Remus Lupin did not consider him part of the normal crowd at Hogwarts; for one thing, his lycanthropy forced him to leave the school once a month. For another, he had the most marvelous and astounding friends a young man could ask for. He was grateful every day for being able to get an education and not be ostracized due to his condition because of friends that he could completely confide in. His condition was not the only hindrance from leading a normal life, although it could be said that it was the main cause. He hated himself every day for putting his friends through all the secrets; he had lost count of how many girlfriends James, Sirius, and Peter had lost for hiding things from them. One thing in fact: Remus's affliction. He could never tell them because they'd just as easily shake it off and urge him not to worry about trivial things such as girls. Remus still felt uneasy about the entirety of the situation and the idea that gave him the most anxiety was his own love life. How could a girl ever see past his huge flaw? Why would she want to? He knew he was not nearly as strikingly attractive as Sirius or even James and his soft-spoken manner was not charismatic or charming. His mother wasn't encouraging either, but how could she be? He was a monster, a horror, a menace on society; there could never be, without a doubt, a girl daft enough to love a demon like him.

She wore lime green earrings every day for a week and played with them every time Professor McGonagall threw a rhetorical question at the class. Without fail, her hand flew up to her small ear, fingered her jewelry for a quick minute, and furrowed her brow in deep thought as Professor McGonagall clearly intended. Her bright eyes flashed with beams of thought as the answer gradually filled her mind and her quick wrist flicked up and down her paper, pouring her thoughts into notes. He continued to peer at her in between taking vague notes on the lecture about and became infinitely enraptured by her odd beauty and eccentric habits when Professor McGonagall's sharp voice interrupted his thoughts about the girl sitting across the room.

"Mr. Lupin, perhaps you can tell me the purpose of the human transfigurations?" She implored, clearly disappointed that his Slytherin classmate Adrian Pucey was unable to come up with a credible response.

"Well, human transfigurations have been known to increase a wizard's individual power throughout attempts and perhaps could be used to disguise a wizard by changing his physical appearance—" he replied, trying his hardest to suppress a smile at his oblivious, yet brilliant professor for not noting his lack of attention as well.

"Yes, indeed class while you could _disguise_ yourself as Mr. Lupin acknowledged…" But Remus stopped listening and turned his undivided attention back to her. How could she remain so unmindful of the Prefect in her very classroom that had become so taken with her that he stopped taking his usually attentive and intricately detailed notes to watch her? She couldn't see that he didn't always hold his head up whilst walking to class and yet he found himself smitten with her. Although that wasn't word he wanted to use, he was quite taken with her with only one succinct conversation.

Remus wondered why he didn't notice her before. He remembered only one encounter with her during his visit to Diagon Alley that past summer. He was out with Peter at Flourish and Blott's searching through the books for third years when she came up next to him. For a few minutes he silently considered the books in front of him since Peter was up front paying for the two sets until his peripheral vision caught a short brown-haired girl sneaking furtive glances at the book in his hands.

"Er… Hello, can I help with you something?" He asked politely, sensing she was having trouble getting the words out.

"Hi. Is that _Hairy Snout, Human Heart _you have there?" She replied cautiously.

"Yeah, I was just looking at it as a bit of extra reading for Care of Magical Creatures this year and I was just flipping through the pages and I think it's not going to be too bad of a read—" He rambled nervously before she cut him off with a slight smile.

"Oh, I was just wondering you were going to buy it seeing as it's the last one." She said as matter of factly. A pregnant pause took precedent over their conversation. She looked around uncomfortably waiting for him to answer.

"Er, no it's all yours," He said slowly, but encouragingly. She smiled thanks and waved goodbye as she walked towards the cash register.

That was all, yet he couldn't stop thinking about the nameless, but lovely girl who stole his book from right under his nose.

Transfiguration ended and Professor McGonagall dismissed them begrudgingly with an essay to write on their first day of classes. He quickly exited the class with Lily Evans before he could run into her and make some sort of faux pas before he even had the chance to speak with her again. It was silly, he thought, that a girl who hadn't crossed his mind since he was thirteen years old could completely disrupt his perfunctory routine of taking meticulous notes. He wasn't too worried about his notes, he could copy Lily's, but if he definitely could not make it a habit of any sorts, her brain might implode… Was Lily saying something now? He realize that he'd better snap out of his reverie and pay attention to the redheaded prefect.

"Honestly, it's like he just made a complete 180! I think he might have been taking better notes than you, Remus! He didn't even make a suggestive comment or wink at me!" She ranted, going on about James's recent maturity struggle and coming out on the winning side this time. He sighed; he would have to tell James of her reaction and watch him try to hide his enthusiasm. Remus suddenly looked around for James, Sirius and Peter when he spotted them heading away from the Transfiguration corridor towards the Great Hall for lunch.

"Listen, Lily, I think it's time you gave James a chance! You saw him in class; he's toned down the pranks and he's really making an effort here," Remus tried carefully. She turned to look at him and scrutinized his face for a minute before smirking.

"James's efforts are fruitless and nothing could make me change my mind. I see your ploy here though; you were unusually quiet and I saw your notes; you're going to want to borrow mine aren't you? And why exactly were you staring at Elsie McKinnon?" She asked, peeved at the mentioning of going on a date with James and instead directing the conversation at who she believed was at the end of Remus's gaze during Transfiguration, however, Elsie McKinnon was a loud girl who Remus was not too fond of. He felt internally relieved that Lily misplaced the end of his gaze to the giggling Gryffindor girl.

"Oh, I was not staring, my dear Lily; I was glaring. She wouldn't stop talking with her idiotic friends during the lecture," He lied quickly, not ready for his fellow prefect to understand the implications of his crush, before realizing she changed the subject, "And the non sequitur award goes to Lily Evans! Congratulations, who taught you to change subjects like it's your job? No more aptitude tests, Lily, I've found your true calling." He remarked sarcastically, clapping and giving her false enthusiasm for steering the conversation away from James Potter.

"I don't want to talk about him…" She groaned, but Remus wasn't listening again, for_ she_ just passed by him. He saw her extremely petite figure for the first time and the way he towered over her almost made him laugh; if only he could figure out her name… He realized Lily might know, especially if she was in their year, because she knew everyone out of common courtesy to her title. He racked his brain for any particular memories of her in their common room, but came up empty. Lily's tirade continued all the way up to the Gryffindor common room until they sat to do their essays.

"So… Florence Kelley, is it?" She asked quietly. He shrugged and they continued in their comfortable silence.

**A/N: So that's all for now. I'm probably going to keep on going though it's my first published work and just let it grow. The chapters might be as short or twice as long, I don't really know… I do have some plans, but plans change. Anyway, I'd update about once a week, perhaps on Saturdays; I'm a junior in high school juggling 7 class including 3 AP's, 2 Honors, and a sport so it's not always possible on weekdays. Review? Yes? Thank you!**


	2. The Bird

**Full Summary: Remus Lupin spends his life with amazing friends and support from the Headmaster to complete his education matter what his affliction, but he wants himself to want something more than school and friends.**

**Warnings: lots of teenage angst, mentioned drug and alcohol use, mentioned and implied sexual intercourse/relations throughout the story.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except some CD's and lots of earrings.**

Heart Skipped a Beat

Chapter 2

A week later, whilst in Transfiguration, Lily couldn't help inquiring his intentions regarding Florence Kelley.

"I'm sorry, but I don't understand. Why all of a sudden? And why would you consider throwing it all way for this girl?" Lily criticized. Remus sighed, silently considering if her question was fueled by her own acrimony.

"Throwing what away, Lily?" He replied, confused; he didn't quite understand the sacrifice of being attracted to a girl. "I'm not marrying the girl." He finished lamely.

"I know that, Remus," she said dropping her voice to a frantic whisper, clearly exasperated at his confusion, "I mean that you worked so hard keeping your secret to tell it to a girl who we don't know at all."

"Lily, I've looked at the girl twice. _Twice_ and you're going bonkers!" He managed in a clipped voice.

"I know that Remus, but think about the last person you had a crush on."

"Blimey, Lily, that was fourth year and didn't last a week!" He nearly screeched before realizing the volume and setting; he returned to his attempt of changing her eyebrows to blonde. Remus wasn't too keen on remembering the brief infatuation he had on her, "Listen to me, Lil. I'm not going to jump off the Astronomy tower for this girl. I don't know her and I've only spoken to her once years ago. She's just a girl in my Transfiguration class whose last name I didn't know until you told me. You don't need to worry about poor, lonely Remus. I'll soon forget the colour of her eyes like I forgot the colour of yours." He whispered bitterly as her eyebrows flashed between blonde and their original copper hue. They remained practicing in silence until Professor McGonagall dismissed them. Remus nearly missed Lily's crestfallen face as she quickly packed up her books and fled, no doubt too angry to engage with anyone, lest she have a row with the unfortunate party to encounter her.

"What's got Evans's panties in a knot?" Sirius asked, coming from the back of the classroom with James and Peter in tow, in his usual élan manner. Remus sighed for what felt like the tenth time that day and shook his head. James tried vainly to appear unaffected with the talk of his longtime crush and fellow Gryffindor.

"Oh, she had a lot of trouble in class with the spell today." Remus lied smoothly, not ready to admit to them the real cause of their argument.

"Right, I remember why I love Transfiguration now." James said smugly. Remus cracked a smile and walked towards the Great Hall with the rest of the sixth year boys. James and Sirius were avidly discussing the upcoming Quidditch tryouts as returners while Remus noticed Peter glancing curiously at him.

"Alright, what is it, Peter?" He said finally, growing weary of the looks he shot him.

"Well, it's just that Lily doesn't have trouble with any of those spells. I know she doesn't because last year she turned Lydia Bulstrode's eyebrows white for 3 days after she called Mary MacDonald an insufferable twat," Peter reasoned, "I think you two had a row as well, because you usually walk with her to lunch."

"When did you get so insightful, Peter?" Remus wondered, bewildered at his impressive observation skills.

"I'm taking Divination again. Professor Hollingberry says if I apply myself, I could do well in his class. Of course, he's sort of gone batty since the death of his wife, poor thing." He replied, filling his plate with delicacies from the table. Remus shrugged and did the same with his plate.

Lily sat with the girls in her dorm and ate quietly, mulling Remus's words over in her head. Why did he suddenly seem interested in a girl like Florence? She wasn't anything special; Lily found the girl to be exceptionally ordinary in every way. Sure, she was above average in her studies, beating Lily here and there over the years, but nothing consistent at all. She wasn't an exquisite beauty, but Lily admitted that she wasn't unfortunate looking and sometimes found herself laughing at her dry humour in class. Still, why would Remus, friends with the some of the most popular boys at school, bother with a seemingly average girl?

"Lily, did you hear me?" her dorm mate Mary MacDonald asked, interrupting her train of thought. Lily grimaced and shrugged in apology but Mary steamrolled on, "It's alright, and it's just that I was saying that Dirk Cresswell has been staring at you for the past 10 minutes!" Mary and their other mates squealed over the 5th year who was in fact glancing furtively at Lily.

"Oh, er… what do I do?" Lily responded, confused. Dirk was actually a decent Ravenclaw with whom Lily didn't actually mind a date with; she tutored him in Potions a few times and he quickly picked it up. He eventually became so enthralled with the subject that he caught Professor Slughorn's eye and joined the Slug Club.

"Oh another boy likes Lily, shocker!" Addison Hunt chimed in quietly. Lily rolled her eyes and ignored Mary's Slytherin friend.

"Addison…Hey, listen Lily, just keep about your normal routine, nothing to worry about," she giggled. Lily smiled at her and continued with her meal, but not before sending a smile to Cresswell and a glare to Addison.

Down the table, Remus was none too happy. Lily berated him for having an innocent crush on a girl, but here she was, sending flirtatious looks towards the Ravenclaw table. He couldn't believe the nerve she had, chastising him over a crush not yet fully developed, yet there was she was exchanging flirtatious looks with a 5th year. His eyes wandered further down the table towards another group of Gryffindors. Florence and her friends were eating and chatting further up; he realized that Lily and Florence had many mutual friends.

"So, Moony, we were thinking that you look absolutely miserable. Between arguing with Lily and staring at some bird all day, it seems that you need a trip to Hogsmeade." Sirius began, looking at James and Peter for encouragement. They nodded and Remus looked bewildered.

"Honestly, do you think we're daft? I'm not going to pry or anything, but-"

"Are you joking?" Remus interrupted with a look of disbelief, "You are the king of prying. What do you want to know?" He said begrudgingly.

"Well, I don't really care about the girl, but you _never_ row with Lily. That's Prongs' thing," Sirius stated as though it were the most obvious thing in the world and James let out a bitter chuckle. "What's up with you and Evans; trouble in the sack?"

"Shut up, Sirius. How did you know I was arguing with Lily? Did Peter tell you?"

"No, come off it, Moony! The last time Evans had a trouble with a spell was the first day in first year," James interjected. Remus sighed and realized he was right, but if he told his mates about this girl, they'd immediately try to set them up and Remus needed time.

"James, you told us you were over Lily." Remus replied flatly, growing weary of their conversation.

"Asking about her doesn't require any sort of feelings." He responded slowly. Remus smiled knowingly and excused himself from the Gryffindor table. Halfway down the table, he heard Sirius.

"DON'T THINK WE'VE FORGOTTEN ABOUT THE BIRD, REMUS! THE BIRD IS FRESH IN OUR MINDS!" Sirius called after him loudly which got the attention of the crowded Great Hall and brought about fresh peals of laughter from all four houses. Remus smiled and kept walking, knowing he had better come up with an excuse to keep them at bay.

War was all she knew. It was all she could think about throughout these desolate times. Her entire family was in danger for their Muggleborn status and as hard as she tried to keep them safe, the weight of her family's fate lied in her small hands. Her family going about their work wondering about her safety every day while she was safe and sound in school worried about the pale and sickly boy who didn't know she existed. He always looked ten years older than he actually was and worst of all, he was attached at the hip to perfect Lily Evans.

Lily Evans was the girl everyone secretly aspired to be like and it was precisely the reason most hated her. Florence fostered a deep resentment for her that she knew would not make her any smarter. Her frustration built every day because she knew she was definitely in the top 5 of the class, but she was always overshadowed by beautiful, intelligent, Lily Evans. No self-respecting teacher would bother with the company of a good student like Florence when Lily was around. She felt like screaming; Lily was by no means perfect. She constantly berated and bullied James Potter for bullying others. It wasn't enough for Lily to inform a teacher or ask him politely because she had to get the final word and try to handle the situation herself.

She'd had been infatuated with Remus since that day she ran into him in the bookstore; it was then she figured out his secret and realized what a wonderful person he was. Florence knew with no shadow of a doubt that if the roles had been reversed, she would not be able to function in society because of her constant anger at the world for cursing her with lycanthropy. She spent a day over that summer pretending she was Remus. It nearly drove her mad within minutes and ever since then, he was the person she aspired to be like, not Lily Evans who led a perfect life. People also felt sympathetic, albeit secretly, due to her blood status. No matter how pristine and perfect her résumé was, it was dangerous to hire her.

And that was one of the many reasons she was sleeping with Remus's best friend.

**A/N: I'm a couple days late, but I've already gotten most of chapter three written, so that's coming soon. Review, your feedback means a lot to me!**


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